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I lifted my head and craned my neck to look at the clock and felt a sharp pain in my shoulders just as Mary pounced on my stomach. We really need a bigger bed I thought as I strained to read the red numbers on the clock. 2:40 am. I tried to swallow away the fiery burn in my throat but was unsuccessful so I drew air slowly in through my nose and my old buddy claustrophobia appeared. I sat up.

My mouth was dry and I craved the effervescence of sparking water. I moved my chilled feet to the floor and sensed a warm spinning sensation in the front of my forehead and knew I had caught the bug traveling around work.

Once I returned to bed, time dragged on. I curled my legs and wrapped my feet, doing my best to tuck my toes into something warm. There in my restless insomnia I thought of the geese I had seen that morning flying south. Their silky black V-shaped banner, stark against the morning sky, had caught my attention. Why south in April? I wanted to ask them.

The same window was now filled with an ashy darkness. I could faintly see the outline of the branches intersecting like black lace drawn within the window frame.

The sound of rain, not from outside but from the machine on my husband’s nightstand was accompanying Sam’s snoring who was elongated where Todd should have been but he must also have been unable to sleep and opted to read in the middle bedroom instead of lie here beside me sharing my thoughts about geese.

Motionless under the covers trying to retain heat, my eyes returned to the window and of the thousands of miles geese travel, testing both their physical and mental capacities. Stress, predators, lack of food supply and dangers of all kinds interfere with their arriving safely at their destination, yet they fly on, trusting. Undaunted.

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The secret of their navigation skills are not completely understood by science but they know that geese use the stars, the sun, the earth’s magnetic field and different landmarks as compass. They are able to gather their information and return to their place of birth. Instinct is an amazing thing.  Innate consciousness. Creation. The Creator’s Presence, within us, I think to myself and can see Todd raise his eyebrows even though he’s asleep in the next bedroom.

Oh, to be like geese, trusting always in what to me is Divine Instinct. How many unhappy people look up without knowing where to find help? Like birds, drawn to the lights of tall buildings, we’re lured away from Divine Light into lessor things, into imitators.

I ran out of thoughts then and for just a moment thought about waking Todd up to share my thoughts about geese, about life, but took half a sleeping pill instead and that’s all I remember.

 

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